Top ten most difficult antibiotics to market

I used to write top ten lists for NYMC's student paper, The Goose (come to our campus, we have the goose droppings to back up that name...do you?). Anyway, I was looking back at some of them and a few made me laugh. Again, being a dork helps.

Top ten most difficult antibiotics to market

10. Ceftriagain
9. Cephalohopeitworx
8. Sulfeggedaboutit
7. Ciprollodice
6. Impotenem
5. Stripteasomysin
4. Anything advertised by John Madden saying “BOOM!”
3. Ouijacillin
2. Aunt Jemima’s Spicycillin
1. Penichillin’ G

Zen diagnosis

So I've been watching episodes of Namaste Yoga on FitTV and trying to play along when my body will allow me to place parts of it where they don't really need to be. It's true, though, that you can only achieve a deep union of spirits when you can surrender your mind and scratch your left ear with your right big toe from behind. It's fun too. Once you loosen up the joints with some strategic dislocations, the ligaments can start to work with you, not against you. That is zen.

As I was reflecting, and because I'm a dork, names of diseases started to force their way into my meditative center to ripple my heart chakra. It was annoying but kind of funny (if you're also a dork). Here's an even nine of them.

• Metaphysical acidosis
• Transcendental thrombocytopenic purposefulness
• Adult Inspirational Distress Syndrome
• Nirvana gonorrhea
• Reflectory anemia
• Spiritual Liberation monocytogenes
• Osteomyelenlightenment
• Haikuphilus influenzen
• Lymphadenopath-to-wisdom

Sorry. That was stupid. Anyway, namaste.